Wow seems not that long ago it was 1999! There was such a crackle in the air that year – everyone talking about Y2K and all the things that ‘could/would’ go wrong. The kids were young, and life was busy, very busy. This year has a crackle too, an excitement in the air, our first shared family turkey feast since Covid-19. There’s a sense of anticipation, of joy, of celebration and gratitude. I can’t wait!

As a child, Christmas was magical. I believed in and shared the magic with others. As an adult that’s not always been so. Today I look around at the world, at the climate crisis, at the things that ‘could go wrong’ and take stock of the important things with gratitude for all we have: our health, our happiness, our families, our friends, our community, and the experiences we share. With hope for all we can achieve together. This year I am excited to celebrate Christmas.

I imagine you and your family are like us with family traditions we hold near and dear.  Lots of people laugh, chuckle, smirk, even grin. My father giggled, he loved Christmas, he’d whisper in your ear about Santa coming, and the countdown of ‘sleeps’. He did the annual Christmas eve drive to look at the lights. Something I am sure started to get the seven of us kids out of mom’s hair so she could finish Christmas stuff. Dad had a pulse on Christmas, he would take you aside and check in to see if you had finished making or acquiring treasures for gifting to the numerous people on your list. Not to worry, if you were short a gift, he always seemed to have something special, just perfect and ready for you to ‘give’. “It’s the thought that counts”, and “you were thinking of them” was his handy reply to your tearful concern it wasn’t really your gift to give, you hadn’t made it.

One thing dad loved about Christmas was the ritual of making nuts ‘n bolts. The assembling of ingredients and equipment, tearing open boxes while carefully keeping the inserts intact, and the layering of the cereals, pretzels, and nuts into the pans. Finally, the drizzling of the oil and spices and popping the filled blue enamel roasting pan (top and bottom) into the oven. He relished and giggled at each step! I can still smell the spicy garlic and hear the sounds. The gathering of children – always my youngest sister and I and often other siblings – around the oven every 30 minutes to stir and ‘test’ the batch. At times we substituted Shreddies for Rice Chex and switched to gluten-free pretzels, in 60+ years I don’t remember one without nuts ‘n bolts; it’s just something we do, an experience I cherish, repeated with our children who now do it too.

By 1990, our extended family was growing with all seven siblings married with children, lots of children… The rush of life, the buying and shipping of gifts was becoming financially out of reach for some, perhaps many of us, for me. And we were scattered now, living in other provinces, other countries. The real meaning of Christmas felt lost somewhere in all the work obligations, family responsibilities, and tough financial times. We were all talking about the pressures, time, money, the stress, and hassle – is this what Christmas is truly about?

A sibling discussion – likely lead by my eldest sister, she who loves to organize. Your family may have an older sister like that too.  We love her – even as she is corralling us along! Anyway, I am giving her the credit. Although in truth it was likely the family conference call to discuss “What to do about Christmas Gift Giving?” Lots of ideas were suggested, drawing names, ‘just’ gifts for the kids, and ‘just this’ and ‘just that’… None of the ‘just’ things seemed to capture the spirit of our family Christmas. In the end we decided to buy nothing.

Instead, we would write and share stories of what we were doing, what we remember of our childhood, our children. Stories about our lives, our thoughts, and feelings, sometimes aspirations, heartache, and laughter. In one edition we had the ‘goldfish girls’ story and the next the ‘real goldfish girls’ story. We have developed family traditions around when we read them, what we eat while we read them, the calls we make to each other after we’ve read them to share thoughts and gossip. (“Did you know that?”, “I don’t remember that!”). And over the years, our collection of stories has grown. At year 10 we published the first ‘Brown Family Chronicles’, for this, our 31styear we will publish our 3rd edition. Sadly, the first year with no story by mother.

Even gift giving this year is easy, simple. Since moving to Qualicum Bay we’ve purchased Christmas cakes from the Legion’s Ladies Auxiliary – delicious! Thank you, ladies, the pleasure of giving Gavin (Tony’s brother) your fruit cake, and his very sincere appreciation for it is something difficult to replicate. My dear and closest neighbour Dianne and I have baked 5 cakes, after ‘testing’ one, the other four are currently soaking in brandy. Fingers crossed they are (or almost are) as delicious as yours! It’s not even December 1st and I’ve almost finished making our gifts, I’ve written my Christmas story, and soon will be baking shortbread, and of course, nuts n bolts. I am feeling calm, happy, and really looking forward to the coming season.

In this life we call ‘retirement’ we are busy with theDoighouse Earthship, our lives are full.

Guests and volunteers are a reminder of the value of friendship, of service to others and to our community. A reminder too that everyone celebrates with different traditions, different days, and in many ways. In whatever way you celebrate the coming winter break and new year Tony and I wish you much happiness and friendship, wrapped in gratitude and tied with a bow.

This article first published in the Lighthouse Country Living newsletter – December 2021 issue.